For many Westerners, the Chinese dinner table is ter-ra incognita([拉]未发现的地域). There are no forks or knives for the Westerners to use. The Chinese host makes great, sweeping（大范围的）arm movements that go over large sections of the table pas sing over both food and friends alike. The scene is fan-tastic（非常好的）, but it leaves many foreigners at a loss（让……迷惑）for what to do. In most Westernrestau-rants and homes there are rules about how to talk, eat and sit that are highly restric-tive（受限制的）, and they cre-ate an atmosphere（气氛）that is completely different from what we find here in China. In my childhood home, din-ner was enjoyed with hushed(压低声音的) voices, and the topics open for discussion were very much restricted. We were not allowed to bring up anything that was potentially unappetizing（倒胃口的）; body functions（上洗手间）, bugs, murder and mayhem（使人肢体伤残的行为）in gen-eral were all strictly forbiddentopics. If I had to leave the table to use the toilet, I had to verbally excuse myself with-out mentioning what it was that I wasgoing to do. "May I be excused, please? I need to wash my hands." I would sa.

　　My mother would say, "Sure." My father would often play a joke on us by saying, "Your hands don't look dirty to me!"

　　As for eating, we did it qui-etly. No eating noises were al-lowed.

　　Everything must be done as quietly as possible. Therefore, we had to eat with our mouths closed. To make a "smacking" noise was, per-haps, the worst offence possi-ble. While drinking soup or coffee or wine "slurping"（咕嘟咕嘟地喝）was also for-bidden. If any sound whatever was created by our intake of food or beverage（饮料）, it constituted（构成）bad man-ners! With that in mind, it was, of course, unthinkable to speak with one's mouth full of food, so speaking only oc-curred（发生）before or after one had taken in food and swallowed（吞咽）it.

　　How one sits at the table is also prescribed（被规定的）. One is to sit up straight with the recessive（非主导的，隐性的）hand (usually the left) in one's lap holding a napkin（餐巾）while the dominant hand (usually the right) holds the fork or spoon. The only time one is allowed to have both hands on the table is when one is using a knife to cut some-thing, but as soon as the cut-ting is done, the recessive hand goes back to the lap. Al-so, elbows（肘）are not al-lowed on the table. Therefore, one props（撑着）the arm a-gainst the edge of the table just below the elbow. One should never reach for（伸手拿）any food on the table; one should ask someone sitting near it to give it to you. "Would you please pass the potatoes?" "May I trouble you for the salt?" These are phras-es that you are likely to hear on any given night of the week at a family dinner.

　　When a guest comes from the West to enjoy a meal with you, it would be a good idea for you to explain to your guest what will happen at din-ner and to find out if a fork would be easier to use than chopst icks（筷子）. In my time in China, I have come to enjoy Chinese table manners far more than those prescribed by my own culture, but for many it is impossible to adjust（适应）. The best policy is to ask your guest questions to find out what he or she is comfort-able with.